Hot Stuff, Cool Delivery

I love to think about how we use language. Today I had fun thinking of all these common expressions that employ the word “hot”, none of which have anything to do with any measurable unit of heat.
Hot bed                                     Hot dog (Noun)
Hot potato                                 Hot dog! (exclamation)
Hot time                                    Hot lips
Hot head                                   Hot money
Hot seat                                    Hot rod
Hot for (Verb)                            Hot chick/Hot dame

I also thought of these expressions that use the words cold or cool, once again with no connection to actual temperature.

Cold hearted                            Cool headed
Cold turkey                               Cold cash
Cool! (adjective)                       Cold Fish
Cold case

 O.W.L.

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Are you a “Go to” Person?

If you’re 50 or older, your day may “go” like this.

Go to Bathroom
Go to Breakfast
Go to Bathroom
Go to Work
Go to Restroom
Go to Restroom
Go to Lunch
Go to Restroom
Go to Restroom
Go Home
Go to Bathroom
Go to Kitchen
Go to Bathroom
Go to Computer/TV/Book
Go to Bathroom
Go to Bed
Go to Bathroom
Go to Bathroom
Go to Bathroom
             Anonymous

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A Lesson on Forgiving

My niece, Darcy, is an incredibly sweet child, always eager to please.  She is three years old and she absolutely adores her slightly older cousin.

Recently the two were playing together and had gone into a bedroom together.  Suddenly, Darcy came down the hall in a state of indignation, saying, “Jo-Jo slapped my face.” She had a slightly reddened place on her very pale cheek.

Jo-Jo followed her saying, “I didn’t do anything.  Darcy banged me with her head and I know she did it on purpose.”

Now I love both little girls, but I knew Darcy did not do it on purpose.  Bouncing around in her excitement, she had banged her head into Jo-Jo’s nose.  The sudden pain made Jo-Jo fly off the handle and I knew she had slapped her without thinking.

We had a little talk about it and she finally allowed that she had put up her hand and it had hit Darcy’s cheek. I asked her to apologize to Darcy because her hand had hit her cheek.  She refused, saying, “No.  I didn’t do anything.”

Whereupon Darcy said, “Jo-Jo, I’m sorry my cheek hit your hand.”  Now that is forgiveness.  I’ve never seen anybody forgive any better.

In case you’re worried, we didn’t make a big issue of it right then, but a few days later we had a little talk with Jo-Jo about controlling those sudden flashes of temper; but between you and me, I’ve suffered from the same problem all of my life; and it’s far easier to identify with Jo-Jo’s feistiness than with the amazing kindness of little Darcy. Jo-Jo will have a hard way to go in life, but little Darcy will sail through with the grace of an angel.

Aunt Martha

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Old Sayings Discredited

Here are a few old sayings discredited by a master pessimist.

Old Saying:  No news is good news.
Pessimist:  No news is what there is just before you hear about the bad things that happened.

Old Saying:  A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Pessimist:  Two live birds in the bush and there you are holding a clay pigeon!

Old Saying:  Every dog has his day
Pessimist:  And he spends it in the dog house.

Old Saying: It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how you play the game.
Pessimist:  It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how much they pay you to play.

Old Saying:  A watched pot never boils.
Pessimist:  But if you turn away for 10 seconds it boils over.

Old Saying: He who laughs last, laughs loudest.
Pessimist:  I’ve heard that some people become hysterical when you manage to completely vanquish them.

Old Saying:  There’s no place like home.
Pessimist:  That’s good.  These days you can’t afford to go anywhere else.

 Edwina Williams, Pessimist

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Confusion

Here’s a paragraph that speaks to indecisiveness and how some people can confuse an issue with a lot of meaningless words. It has only one aim
 — to make you smile.

One way to look at it is there are no two ways about it, because three strikes and you’re out—every time. But let’s go forth with another hypothesis, because on the other hand there are five fingers, each representing good options; but of course, it’s always six of one and half a dozen of another; so go for Lucky No. 7–if that’s what you want.

BK

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A Body of Humor

Here are some phrases everybody uses from time to time. Let’s see if I have put them together in a way that can put a smile on your face.

I’ve had a belly full of remarks about my eating habits.
It is my understanding that our feet continue to grow throughout our lives.
He tried to put the finger on someone else, but I pointed out that he was responsible.
She was always underfoot until I asked her to lend a hand.
It broke her heart when she became the butt of their jokes.
I told her she was too nosy but she still tried to elbow her way in.
She eyed me with an air of irritation when I told her she was easy to see through.
She was in my hair all day until I finally brushed her off.
She got an earful of his loud mouth.
She has a lot of cheek but at least she can take it on the chin.
He refuses to back down, but at least he’s not spineless.
When I told her she didn’t listen closely enough, I got an ear full.
I caught them necking just before she gave him the kiss off.
We worked shoulder to shoulder until she stepped on my toes once too often.
Poor thing, it’s hard for her to be hip when she’s so hippy.
Until she came abreast of me, I thought I was ahead by a nose.
It was just a slip of the tongue, but it hit me right between the eyes.
You have to stay on your toes around him because he’s such a heel.
Sure it was a cutting remark, but the wound was only skin deep.   

(
If you’re groaning, you can make your own “cutting remark” in the comment section–or maybe just give me a “thumbs down”; but if you’re smiling, please reward me with a “thumbs up”  below or with a “like” on facebook.)

Betty Killebrew

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